Bananas, Bananas and More Bananas

When life takes away my bananas, I make foster.

That’s just the kind of person I am. Literally. Last night I had a hankerin’ for some bananas foster, so I sauntered into the kitchen to take a quick survey of all the necessary ingredients. Butter… check… brown sugar… check… Blue Bell homemade vanilla ice cream… check, check… Rum… check… bananas… bananas… bananas…

To my short-lived horror, there were no bananas. I distinctly remembered buying a beautiful bunch of pristine yellow bananas a few days earlier. However, in the midst of a craving induced fit of stupor, I came to a realization about my 2 year old’s inexplicably bad habit of eating just a bite of banana only to decide she’s not really in the mood for bananas: It cannot peacefully coexist under the same roof as someone who deeply loves bananas foster. As the bleak truth that we were out of the key ingredient for the perfect foster sank in, I immediately started to complain. I tend to do that at times. I’m a bit of a… what would you call it… well… a complainer, at times. But then it hit me. When you have no bananas… why not make foster… just plain ol’ regular foster? Tapping into the vein of the very pioneering spirit that made this county great to begin with, I forged into the great unknown, determined to make the first banana-less foster in Dismukes’ history.

In retrospect… probably not the single greatest creation of my colorful culinary career. But in a pinch, I had bettered a bowl of plain ol’ vanilla ice cream, AND I got to play with fire in the process. Not bad for one man with a handful of ingredients and belly full of hungry. I’d like to see McGyver make do with as little. But perhaps even more impressive was my determination to turn a bad situation into a win/win for me and the bananas – I got a satisfactorily tasty dessert and they didn’t get eaten, while safely slumbering at the local grocery store.
I hate to boast about myself, however, I will gladly do so when given the opportunity. This just happens to be one of those opportunities.

While I’m sure no one will ever write a book about this event, nor will anyone ever sing of the tale of the banana-less foster, I have joined the ranks of an exclusive society. I now count myself among those who have turned the tables on defeat and emerged victorious, despite unfathomably horrendous odds. Members of this hallowed club include the entire 1980 Olympic Hockey Team who, after being crushed by the Russians just days before the opening ceremonies in Lake Placid, came back to claim their membership with a “miracle” run to the gold medal. They had no bananas either… yet they made Olympic foster. Another fellow victor is fictional high school basketball coach Norman Dale as played by Gene Hackman, who led the undersized and undermanned Hickory High School basketball team to the Indiana State Championship, thanks in part to the decision of Jimmy Chidwick, local round ball prodigy, to join the team in mid-season. Coach Dale had no bananas… but he made Hoosier’s foster.

On a side note, William Lear, designer of the Lear Jet was a former member of the club. After his remarkable success in aircraft design, he went on to “grace” the world with the 8-track tape. Apparently the society members decided Lear was headed in the wrong direction and his membership was revoked.

The great Dale Carnegie once said, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Cute, Dale. But let’s be honest. To make lemonade, you still have to have water, sugar and ice. I mean, if you only put lemons in it, it would suck like a Hoover. A better quote would be (and I’m thinking of petitioning the National Cliché Society), “when life takes away your bananas, just make foster.”

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

I wish I was going somewhere today…


I love to travel. I love everything about travelling. I love the smell of my suitcase. I love travel sized toiletries, even though I know I’m paying twice as much as I would for the jumbo sized bottles of the same product. I love the fact that I spend countless hours day dreaming about my excursions in the weeks prior to my departure. I even love the things about travelling that others hate. I love crowded airports. I love airplane food. I love jetlag, even though I hate it. I even love that I can’t sleep much on the night before my trip (see earlier blog from Feb ’09). I love all these things simply because they remind me of the fact that I’m going somewhere, and I love going somewhere.


I don’t understand people who don’t love travelling. I know a man who once bragged about how he had no reason to visit another country because everything he needed was ‘right here at home’. At first, I thought he was joking, so I laughed. When I realized he was serious, my laughter turned into weeping and eventually wailing and gnashing of teeth. That’s how much I don’t understand people who don’t love to travel.


I try to structure my life so that I take at least 1 major trip every few months. Last summer I went to Panama City Beach. This past Fall I went to Russia. In February of this year, I went to Colorado. In September, I’m going to Greece and Bulgaria. Christmas of this year, Lord willing, will be spent in Phoenix/Prescott, and I already have my sights on family trip next year (hopefully either Disney World or a road trip to Washington D.C.). Some folks, like the anti-me mentioned above who hates to travel, might call me obsessive compulsive. I, on the other hand, call myself a survivalist. You see, I have to schedule my life in such a way. Otherwise, I’d go mad. Life in a small town is all about getting out. If you don’t plan your momentary escapes from time to time, you become deranged.


Consider the anti-me mentioned above. Can anyone honestly think that everything one needs is truly ‘right here at home’. Surely not. Surely this man is deranged. Imagine if his premise were really true. Where would humanity be today if it were truly the case? The children of Israel would never have entered the promised land. The Pilgrims would never have sailed to the new world. Neil Armstrong would never have walked on the moon. Gilligan would never have been stranded on a deserted island with Ginger and Mary Ann. I shudder to think of a world without a nutty professor who could build a radio out of coconut shells and seaweed, but couldn’t patch a hole in the side of a boat.


We’re creature of curiosity, unless of course our curiosity generator is broken (see anti-me). We long to experience adventure. We love to unravel mysteries. We yearn for the thrill of discovery. That is why we travel. And for me, my next turn can’t come soon enough. I’m day dreaming about Athens… about the ancient cities of Corinth and Philippi. I’m even day dreaming about the Gypsies in Bulgaria.


I wish I was going somewhere today…

Is Randominity A Word?

I’m overdue for a blog, so here you go.


Today I woke up at 6:50… just in time for my morning shower. Actually, I don’t always take showers in the morning. Sometimes I take them at night. It just depends on what kind of mood I’m in. Once I was dried off and fully dressed, I went into the kitchen for something to eat. Sometimes I eat big breakfasts… like sausage and egg biscuits, or a nice hot bowl of cheese grits. Today, however, I passed on breakfast. We have a very nice espresso machine in our kitchen, which makes fantastic lattes. I usually have a latte, but today, I opted out. Next, I drove to work. Mostly, I just take the direct route. But today, I stretched the normally ¼ mile drive into a 5 minute loop around the greater downtown area of Edison. At work, I’ve been known to do all kinds of things. Some days, I work pretty hard, but not today. Today my Dad dropped by the bank just to talk. We talked for about 45 minutes, which is okay because he’s the chairman of the board.


On my resume, I think I will add “unpredictable” as a Character Trait.